Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

I'm not patient enough to homeschool, and neither are you

Let me share a little secret with you, NO ONE is patient enough to homeschool.

I have been homeschooling for eight years, and just this morning I almost loss my cool over Algebra! Wait, that is a lie. I lost my cool. Thankfully it was internally and I didn't yell at my kids, but I grinded my teeth a bit. I then had to breathe slowly and look at the answer key in the teacher's manual.

The response I got most of the time, before Covid19 crisis-schooling, was "I would never be patient enough to homeschool."

I always want to say, "You're right. You aren't patient enough to homeschool, and neither am I."

Some people naturally have a more patient personality (not me), or grew up in a patient household that modeled it for you (not me), but those are NOT prerequisites to homeschool, or even crisis-school at home.

Patience is a growth trait, not a fixed trait.

Fixed traits are the color of your hair or eyes. You were born with them, and barring a great hair stylist, they aren't changing permanently.

Growth traits can be gradually increased through experience and intentional practice. In simple terms, we are not born patient, we grow patient.

So how do homeschool teachers do it? We do it by doing it. You become patient by being patient with kids. NONE of us started out patient, and NONE of us have arrived. Ask any homeschool about her first year homeschooling, and you'll hear from tear and anger filled memories.

We have to daily work on our reactions, even when we've taught the same lesson five different ways, and a kid doesn't "get it". We get up the next day to research YouTube videos and Facebook groups to find the sixth way, and pray it finally clicks.

Do we cry when we're frustrated? Yes.

Do we have to apologize to our kids for losing our temper? Abso-flipping-lutely!

Think of a skill you have had to grow in during your daily work. Have you become more organized, or a stronger team leader? Have you learned new computer skills to do your job?

So if homeschool moms aren't more patient, then what are we? We are committed. We chose this.

Everything is easier when we make a commitment to do it. You do it by doing it.
You do it by committing to doing it.

Homeschool moms committed to this willingly , and maybe you didn't. But it is here. Even if you didn't willingly commit to school at home, you did commit to your kids.

It doesn't matter if you chose this or it chose you, it is happening. You are now crisis schooling. You CAN do this.

You get patient by every day being a TINY bit more patient.


  1. This post is excellent, I can definitely relate! I have waffled back and forth about homeschooling for years, and with everything going on now (in addition to a special needs 4th grader), I decided to pull them out of the school for the rest of the year. If nothing else, it will be a chance to take this for a "test run," though each day I am becoming more convinced that we will continue in this vein next fall as well...
    I also wanted to say that I arrived at your blog by searching for MFW (opinions), since that is currently what I'm leaning towards--I have a 4th and 2nd grader at the moment, with two younger kids as well. And I just wanted to THANK YOU for not having a blog littered with ads, pop ups and annoying barrages of things that so you see almost everywhere these days! Seriously, I appreciate this sooo much. An ad here or there, that's fine. But lately I can't seem to get through a simple blog post out there without constant interruptions to the body of the post. Also, a cursory look at your topics tells me I will want to stick around and check out some other posts, because you have shared very relevant, helpful information (at least for someone like me, I suppose). So thanks for all that. THIS post is definitely encouraging as I timidly/awkwardly take on the role of teacher in my home!

    1. I am so glad the post was helpful to you! I write to help other homeschool moms in this awesome journey, so it warms my heart that any of my resources can help!!!