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Monday, December 31, 2012

I Want To Let Go of Insecurity in 2013

I want to let go of insecurities that keep me from enjoying my life....
  • I want to not think my husband is just being nice when he says he thinks I am beautiful.
  • I want to accept an invitation from a friend to go on a short one hour trip, and not wonder if she really wants to be in a car with me that long.
  •  I want to know that I am still liked even if I am not invited to every party with every person I know.
  • I want to be happy when I am invited to a party, and not wonder if it's obligation or that they like my husband and we are a package deal.
  • I want to believe a friend when she says she values me, instead of thinking she must not really know me if she likes me.
  • I want to not think everyone who loves me will stop loving me if I say or do something wrong.
  • I want the sins of my past to remind of the Grace and Redemption of my Savior and NOT how far and often I have fallen short.....
Sometimes I wonder why I hold onto these insecurities like a warm blanket.  I think because familiarity feels comfortable.  Because of abuse in my past I don't remember ever feeling secure, ever knowing I was loved unconditionally.  When I failed, it was nor forgiven.  When I said the wrong thing, I was then reminded of it every time I failed after that.  I was taught that continually replaying my sins and never forgetting my grief over those failings meant I was repentant. My true road to being a Christ-Follower is based on me finally believing Grace has nothing to do with me at all.  Beth Moore says it best when says, "Even if you are filled with self-loathing, you are filled with yourself."

My prayer to my faithful and loving Heavenly Father is that in 2013 I be filled with YOU, and not my own insecurity.

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

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