My Small Life

MY SMALL LIFE

As a teen and young adult I was judgemental about people who grew up and lived in the same town their whole lives. All I wanted was to get away from my small town. Looking back, that had more to do with the house and town I was living in. They weren't safe place to grow.

But I just came from a funeral of a 94 year old man who lived within a small radius of his high high school until he was 94 years old. He spent 60 years of his life with his beloved wife. He had two children and loved them well. He served in the same small church for 50 years. His childhood best friend was sitting next to his casket.

To the outsider, this is a small life. But the beauty in "small' is how big we can do other things.

Big service, big giving, big friendships, big love, big commitment.

I have a small life. I have a small friend group. I have a small amount of people who I 'influence'. I also have a small house. I have a small ministry, literally, the leader of a small group at church.  

In the small is where I find my big.

In recent seasons I have learned when I give all of what I have to smaller amount of people, they each get more of me.

My kids get more of me when I focus on homeschooling/parenting them, instead of trying to teach 3 classes at co-op, or meticulously maintaining a blog that help OTHERS homeschool. I am still updating when I can, but it isn't the first priority right now. 

My friends get more of me when I have only two to four people who I need to keep up on ALL the details and big things in their life. I can do three helpful things for one person, instead of one thing for three people. 

My ministry gets more of me when I focus on a smaller group. God called me to teaching for his kingdom when I was in my 20s, but I didn't know what that meant. Was I suppose to try to be Beth Moore? Later I wondered if I was suppose to try preach and teach on Instagram. So far it has meant I taught Sunday School, women's ministry, and spoke at small MOPs groups. I am teaching what God has taught, with the resources and bandwidth I can manage right now. If Jesus poured deeply into 12 people, and served the caravan 75 shouldn't that me a measure for my personal bandwidth? 

Sometimes we are called to the big and sometimes the small. Big ministry isn't necessarily bad. I am just personally in a small season right now. Maybe one day God will call me to "bigger", but I know God's math isn't our math.  What we see as small, he knows can be bigger and last generations. Small moments, small community, small choices can change the world. 

And I am thankful for small.