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Thursday, January 18, 2018

Modesty and the Me Too Movement

The fact that the #MeToo movement began in Hollywood, the most sexualized industry in America, outside of pornography, may be why so many Christians have been trying to move the focus of the movement to modesty and self responsibility.

 I get that, I do. There are many women who dress inappropriately and our hyper sexualized casual-sex culture is confusing, where I honestly feel sorry for unmarried men trying to navigate their natural urges in the sexual dating world.  Sadly there will be women who try to claim this movement as permission to not be responsible for their own actions.

As the pendulum swings too far away from personal responsibility, it is creating knee-jerk reactions in many Christian to try and change the focus of this movement. This is a big mistake, and while it is unintentional, it makes many Christian come across as uncaring, and quite frankly, merciless.

The true focus of #MeToo is on the Powerless being taken advantage of by the Powerful.
If you try to shift the conversation to modesty, you will forget the majority of the victims who are not in Hollywood, who now have a voice because of this movement.  These victims' experiences had nothing to with what they were wearing...

The little boys and girls who are wearing their Sunday best when they are molested.

The college girl who was wearing a long sleeved sweater before she is date raped.

The woman in a business suit who is habitually asked for sex by her boss.

The junior high girl in her jeans and hoodie who is taken advantage of by her youth leader.

The teen girl in flannel pajamas who is violated by her friend's father at a sleepover.

The woman who dresses up for her husband, and is groped by a man on her way to the restaurant.

There will be a time & place for a conversation  on how modesty and  casual sex plays a role in the objectification of women, BUT it isn't the conversation that needs to be had when discussing #Metoo Movement.

Don't complicate the simple truth of #Metoo. These women need to be validated in the simple truth that started this movement : IT'S NOT OK. PERIOD.

No "What abouts". No hypothetical. No shifting the debate with straw men arguments.  Of course there are complicated dynamics in every allegation. It's messy and hard. But the focus of this movement is still simple.

It's not ok.

It's not ok for the powerful to use their power to get sexual gratification.

It's not ok for the male owner of a pageant to walk into a dressing room of contestants, just because he knows they can't tell him no.

It's not ok for a boss to touch a woman's breasts or private parts, knowing she can't say anything unless she wants to loose her job.

It's not ok for an Olympic doctor to molest an underage girl, knowing if she tells she could lose her place on the team, and be wrapped in scandal.

It's not ok!

I am a HUGE advocate for modesty, but this isn't a conversation in which to to call out modesty.
When we lose focus of this movement towards modesty, we take the focus off the predators who abuse their power, and put focus on guilting the victims. As a victim of molestation as a child, I personally know the very long road it takes to finally believe it wasn't your fault.

The FIRST thing most victims do is try to figure what they did wrong, how is was their fault. The LAST thing we should be doing is inadvertently confirming it was.

1 comment:

  1. The beginnings of the #MeToo movement doesn't negate how it can help women from every walk of life. We as adults are responsible for our own actions. The blame game against Hollywood removes personal accountability.