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Monday, May 27, 2019

Introverts/Extroverts need social skills


It's important that people stop getting social skills mixed up with introvert/extrovert. There's a lot of extroverts who have awful people skills, and just because they like being around people doesn't fix that.

Being an introvert doesn't make you a hermit.

Being an extrovert doesn't make you the life of the party.

I'm married to an introvert who has wonderful people skills, but after a long day with people he really really needs alone time.

 Just so we're clear, being an introvert means that you get energy from being alone and being an extrovert means you get energy from being with people, AND THAT IS IT.

Being an introvert does not mean that you don't like people, it just means that you need to take a rest afterwards. Comparing being an introvert to not liking people is the same as saying you don't like hiking because it makes you tired. If you don't like hiking you don't like hiking. I like hiking, but I still need to take a rest afterwards.

 Stop blaming not liking people on being an introvert and just own the fact that you don't like people. And that's okay, you can own that fact. I don't like dogs. It took me many conversations with dog people thinking that I had no soul, but I I have finally owned that fact that I am not a dog person.

 Being an extrovert does not mean that you have magical social skills. Just because I like being around people doesn't mean that I am totally good at it (seriously, just ask my friends). Stop using introversion as an excuse for having bad social skills.

 All people have to work on their social skills!!!

I am married to a hardcore introvert who has worked for many years on his social skills and how to relate to people. He likes being around people, but he definitely needs much more of a break from people than I ever do as an extrovert.

 So to wrap this up, let's review.

#1 Being an extrovert does not mean that you're super great at talking to people all the time and that you have great people skills. Being an extrovert does not make you shallow or  unable to talk about deep subjects. It doesn't even make you outgoing or comfortable around all people, it just means that you get energy from being with people.

#2 Being an introvert is not an excuse for being rude or not working on your social skills. Being an introvert doesn't make you shy, or deeper than other people. There are some introverts who process out loud. I'm married to an outgoing charismatic introvert. Being an introvert just means that you need to rest after spending time 

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